This experience is dedicated to my Guru Shree Sachidanand Sad Guru Sainath Maharaj of Shirdi.
Yes I say my Guru because I have accepted Him as my Guru, My Guide, My Teacher who will show me the way to moksha, salvation & will never ever leave my side. I know many reading this may think that I am a fool, being overtly spiritual in this immensely materialistic world. Many who consider Him a God may also take offence, but this is just my feeling, purely my towards Shree Saibaba of Shirdi & people may agree or not agree with what I am sharing with the readers now. As I share a bond with all forms of life on this Earth the same I have been sharing with Saibaba too since the day I had been introduced to Him.
Saibaba was first introduced to me by one of our acquaintances in Lucknow. She was a devout follower of Him & at that time was fasting as she had taken a vow for her ailing father who had been suffering from cancer. To my utter surprise (I was a school girl then) her father passed away, but she continued to follow him devotedly, without any questions. On being asked why she didn’t leave worshipping Him as He had not answered her prayers, I was very lovingly told by her “That is what Baba did. I asked for relief for my father from all his sufferings & Baba did just that & has called him to Him where all his suffering has vanished & He is happy.” I could not actually comprehend whatever she said, but was overwhelmed to know that for two days before his demise her father was absolutely fine without any pain and suffering.
That episode did leave an impression & although my family was not followers of Saibaba I always felt linked to him. It was after I moved to Delhi, that I was kind of re-introduced to Baba by my best friend. It was then that I really took to taking deep interest in Him & started studying his life, but I wasn’t still a devout follower. But yes I had started visiting the Sai temple at Lodi Road, Delhi & an invisible thread had started binding me to Him. Slowly my belief in Him strengthened & I started turning to Him, talking to Him about all my aspirations, aims, doubts, problems etc & in a very strange way in some or the other form He would guide me . The trust in Him was complete & I always looked up to Him. Through his teachings & his life he had always worked & tried to bring together the various strata of society without any discretion of caste, creed, and religion. Saibaba lived in a mosque, which he called the Dwarakamayi, practiced Hindu and Muslim rituals, teaching using words and figures that drew from both traditions. His words Sabka Malik Ek (The Lord is One) can be traced to the Bhagwad Geeta & to Sufism, and has a tremendous effect on my life. Saibaba taught a moral code of love, forgiveness, helping others, charity, contentment, inner peace, and devotion to God and guru & I to my best of abilities I have tried to practice these.
I married early & my in laws were all devotees of Saibaba but their way of following Him was a little different from mine. They worshipped Him like God whereas I had never looked up to Him that way. I had always spoken to Him like a human, like a friend & he had always made me help find answers to my questions & helped me wade through deep waters of trouble. He always taught me to be happy, to respect all life forms, to be caring & protective towards others and of all to be forgiving, but I was really happy to find him at my new home. Time passed & as is the ways of life, life is not always a bed of roses. My husband fell ill suffering from a very serious renal ailment & was asked to undergo an operation in fact a transplant. I was immature & truly could not figure out what to do & what not to. I was devastated but never gave up on hope. The visits to the doctors & hospitals were time consuming, & draining us out emotionally & economically. I would everyday bow my head in front of Baba & ask him to see me through that critical situation, but the condition of my husband was day by day deteriorating. Then that night my husband returned from the urologist & the day after he left for Bombay or Mumbai ( as is now, I wonder as I write why people fight & harm others on such a trivial thing as changing the name of a particular place) along with my brother Gurvinder, for an expert opinion & further course of treatment as advised by the doctor . Although I had faith & was positive about things turning out fine, still given my immaturity & the situation I was in, I felt at a loss & helpless.
I remember three days after my husband left was Rakhi (Rakshabandhan, the festival signifying the bond between a brother & sister). I was alone that day, with no near & dear ones near. In my confusion I even had forgotten to send Rakhi to my brothers & felt so guilty & emotional that I burst out crying. Suddenly I looked at the photograph of Baba & felt that he was looking at me with sad but with immense love & care in his eyes, as if trying to tell me that He was there & I need not feel sad & alone. In my heart I told him I believe you & henceforth You will be my parent, my sibling, my guide, everything. Just then the door bell rang. I went out to find a man in his thirties, in ochre robes, standing at the gate. I did not open the gate but asked him what he wanted. He addressed me as Didi (sister) & told me he did not want anything but had come because I needed His help. I just asked what help, to which he asked me whether my husband was ill. On my answer in the affirmative he narrated everything that had happened even telling me the approximate amount in Rupees that we had spent on my husband’s treatment. I was dumbfounded but still could not say anything. He kept on talking assuring & reassuring me that my husband will be absolutely fine & I need not worry about anything, neither the finances nor his health. He told that was the last day of my troubles & that he would come back after everything was fine & will have food with us. Just as he turned to go, he told me to come to Shirdi along with my family after everything was well and offer sweets (pedas) to Baba. He told me everything how, where & even quoted the price of the pedas. I agreed, he smiled, turned & just vanished behind some houses.
My happiness knew no bounds when I received the telephone call that was frantically ringing. On the other side was my husband who told me about the doctor who had come down from the USA & had assured him that he will fully recover by the course of medicines & special injections that had to be imported. At that very moment I saw the image of Saibaba smiling at me. Something in my heart told me I had committed a mistake & not recognised Sai who came to my doorsteps to help me out, to show me the way of Shradhdha (faith) & Saburi (patience). To tell me that I was not alone, He was there by my side. I ran out, looking for Him like mad, but could not locate him. I remembered His eleven sayings & bowed my head in front of Him in total submission. I went to the market, got a Rakhi for Baba & since then have been tying the Rakhi first on His hand without a miss.
My husband recovered fully, the funds flew in from unknown, unthought-of quarters & everything was managed. I had not forgotten my promise & soon we set for Pune where my husband’s uncle stays enroute to Shirdi. The day I stepped into Shirdi I did not feel like a stranger at all. It was as if I had come home. Whatever that Saintly person (I take him as Saibaba, and call him that) had narrated, whatever landmarks, whatever description he had given matched point by point. I was again overwhelmed by His ways, by His omnipresence.
Sweets as told were bought from the government run stall, which was a little less than the price Saibaba had quoted to me. On objecting I was told not to be too fussy, after all the quantity was same. I too agreed, went to the temple to offer our gratitude & obeisance. The simplistic grandeur, the smell of flowers & incense, the touch & feel of Saibaba was reverberating everywhere & was awesome & wonderful. We spent two-three days in the closeness & nearness of Saibaba & returned to Pune. A day later the family that is me, husband & brother in law went to Camp area. Lo in front on the steps of Kayani Bakery was Saibaba personified. Exactly the same features that I had seen at Shirdi, orange ochre robes, a stick in hand with two dogs seated nearby. We three stood as if affixed to a magnet. As I looked towards him, I was awestruck by the glassy mirror like eyes that was seeing through, mesmerizing & melting all three of us. My husband asked for something from my brother in law & immediately he handed him some money, which was passed on to Baba after which he muttered something & we walked ahead as if in a trance. After walking a few steps it just dawned on me that I had made a mistake again. I asked Bobby what he handed over. He said that it was a twenty rupee note, and immediately it struck me. That was the difference in the sum of the sweets bought from the government run shop & what Saibaba had quoted. I ran back Bobby & husband following me, but again there was no one around. We looked for Him everywhere but to no avail. I understood that Saibaba had come to claim the rest of the amount, so that I am not proven wrong by going back on my promise, and did not land up not living up to my commitments , like the one I had made.
I again bowed my head, thanked Him for helping me keep my words & also accepted him in another role that of my Guru, my guide, somebody who will always show the correct path, light the way ahead, throwing light when I am surrounded by darkness or the path is dusky & dusty. I also learned that to promise only what I can (not just make promises at the hour and break later on) and always try to keep the promises made. In my course of life I have had various experiences, wherein I (not only me, but my family & friends too) have felt His presence, His nearness & closeness to Him. I feel myself blessed to have Saibaba as my Guru, who is immortalised, on whom no one can cast any aspersion or have any doubts about, who is revered by all and whose life is an example of love & secularism.
Saibaba is an ocean of love. His life is not a folk lore or fictionalised. He left us only in the year 1918. His is a life which is a coming together of all cultures, religions & groups. Even today we find people from all over the world coming together at Shirdi, bowing together before Him & bound together by the thread of His one & unique love. We can relate to Him & should always follow the path shown by Baba and do good karma, good actions for all humanity & all lives. I know Baba will guide me through all the ups and downs of life towards moksha, the ultimate reality of our life. He has taught me Shradhdha (faith) and Saburi (patience) the two invaluable jewels that has helped me in leading my life well & caused an immense change in my perception of Life & Guru & Divinity on the whole. As I try to connect with the living form, the non living & the natural He may be showing me the way to connect with the Super Powerful, the Supernatural. I know he will always bless me & enable me, guide me to be a good human & spread His love, care, benevolence & words of unity, harmony & accord in this world.
