Friday, September 10, 2010

MY FIRST BORN, MY DEAR SUNNY




Dear Sunny,
This piece of writing is not to prove something or anything to anyone, but this is for you, to tell you how important you are & what you mean to us.
I still remember the day when I sensed that you had already found a place in me, without me having come to know. But my dear son you were always welcome & I really can’t express to you the joy, happiness & the wonderful mix of emotions that Papa & me felt then. From that moment onwards you have always been in my heart & given me warmth.
Bringing you into this world had been a process of endurance, perseverance, patience backed up by a lot of love & care. As many women I too felt sick, could not eat, drink, felt hot, felt cold, perspired, felt uncomfortable & tired but followed by sweet dreams & expectations & of course a lot of pain too . So you see there is a lot of endurance that has gone into your making. It was a whole life, an era, an age, in fact an entire lifetime that I spent & shared with you bounded together by the chord of umbilicus, sharing our blood & life. It was rough on me in some ways but I have the fondest memories of me & you together & oh so inseparable.
The day you were desperate to come out into this World (desperate I say because you did not complete the term & arrived prematurely), I started feeling the pangs seven days ahead. The doctors advised me to rest & put me on medication because they felt you were too weak. On the 11th of July you had made up your mind to come into this world, but given a tough fight by the doctors in the hospital as they felt I may lose you. I said a prayer & spoke to you, heart to heart, asking you to fight, to prove everybody wrong, & come out with life as a winner & in return I promised my love, support, discipline.
You won my dear; you made them all lose to you by your first victory cry in the morning of 12th of July & whisked away to the NICU (neo- natal intensive care unit). I was young & scared, full of emotions & love for my First Born, praying for his survival. My prayers were answered in the evening when the doctor handed you to me, a small bundle of joy. You were so tiny, delicate & fragile, your sweet smile, your beautiful eyes, your small little fingers clasped & entwined around my own, as if strengthening our bond of so many months. I named you Abhimanyu, the great warrior.
We came home. Taking care of you was challenging, but as I note now since that day onwards the fighting spirit of yours has developed & grown along with you. You are a fighter & you fought against all the odds to grow in to a small bundle of energy & intelligence within no time. Your smile, your naughtiness, your images while studying, playing , in school, at home keep coming back to me & refresh me filling me up with a new energy to live. I have watched you grow manifold. From little hands & feet, to a gawky teenager, to a boy ready to take his first step towards manhood with many dreams in his eyes. All these years I have been with you, by your side. We have shared many a pleasant moment, laughs & emotions together. It was kind of I growing up with you. We may have had our rough patches in our relationship, but I pledge & vow to be always being by your side.
You are no more a small little child, with chubby cheeks & ignorant smiles. You are ready to take your steps towards manhood and be on your own. You have been an obedient child & have tried to stay clear of the many hurdles, temptations & ditches of life. With your parents you have weathered & fought many tough & difficult times which have helped you grow up a more mature, understanding & good human being. Your strongest point is that you are loving & caring, caring even for a suffering animal & a deprived child. You love to stand up for the right. You have never been attracted towards the worldly pleasures & can make do with whatever you have & still be happy, and this makes you all the more stronger & easy for you live & love life.
Well done my child!! Today as you stand on the threshold of being a man, ready to take on the world, undergoing & experiencing so many changes, I see that our relationship is also undergoing a change, maybe because you feel that I won’t be able to comprehend & understand your situation. No dear in fact our relationship is now not only that of a mother & son but of friends, wherein we discuss so many things, we are more open & friendlier. You will start taking your own decisions in some time.
Few things I want you to remember.. Be very cautious of what you say, do or act because People form impressions very quickly and these impressions are very difficult to change. Never hurt anyone by your words because Life and DEATH or CONSTRUCTION or DESTRUCTION lies in the power of the tongue. Also never run after power, it ruins a person. Rather love the masses, the downtrodden, be humble & I am sure you will shine like a Jewel. . There is a sense of loss, and a funny pain down in my heart as I see my fledgling fluttering his wings towards his first flight, ready to leave my the cocooned nest I tried my best to shelter him in, but it is overshadowed by the pride that I feel when I see you, a part of me grow into a beautiful human being.
This is just to say We are Proud of You. We adore you and love you. May you live a life full of love, joy, wisdom & smiles. Meet the challenges of life with the spirit of the warrior that you have with a smile on your lips. And by your side you will always find me your Mother by your side, as a friend, as your guide.
Three cheers to your Fighting Spirit!!! I know you will be a Winner.
Both of us share a special bond tied together with love, the most blessed emotions & care. Even when I am long gone by, in another world, you just need to remember me, looking into your heart, and I will be there, smiling & proud, your Mumma, only for You.

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